As part of our morning rituals, Frankie Suave goes outside first. Call it senior privilege. He claims a need to take care of business without his younger brothers pestering him.

You might suggest this has as much to do with biology as Herd rank. Making it through the night without a bathroom break is an accomplishment when you’re a fourteen-year-old canine. No need to tempt fate when the youthful siblings can wait.

In another nod to his senior status, Frankie gets a special treat after pre-sunrise yard time—a pre-breakfast snack. The stomach sometimes churns in the morning as you age. A snack settles things down until the normal post-walk breakfast time. The youngsters may not be so understanding if they knew an extra meal happened while they snoozed, so best we don’t tell them.

Thus, every day, Frankie happily trots solo through the house and out the back door with the Hu-Dad for a little early morning tree watering.

A wee bit of clarification for our more literal readers. Only Frankie handles the irrigation duties. Hu-Dad merely supervises. We don’t want anyone to get any wrong ideas.

In the morning in question, though, Frankie declared more extreme matters needed to be addressed. He trotted to the center of the yard, but didn’t pause for the normal liquidation. Instead, he assumed the critical position, arched his back, and deposited a little work for Hu-Dad to pick up.

Hu-Dad might have been a little surprised by this change in routine, but this isn’t his first rodeo. He knows we Siberian Huskies don’t always follow protocol. He reached into his pocket, extracted a waiting collection bag, and retrieved the prize. Once the dump was properly dumped in the receptacle, he turned and spied Frankie waiting at the back door to go inside for his snack.

But no bladder emptying had occurred. “Did you forget something?”

Frankie cocked his head, his go-to reaction to any question he prefers not to answer.

Hu-Dad didn’t fall for the tilt. See not his first rodeo above. Instead, he persisted with the questioning. “You haven’t peed yet, now have you?”

Frankie stood his ground. A pre-breakfast awaited inside the house.

But sometimes Hu-Dad can be as stubborn as a Siberian Husky. “Come on, Mr. Suave, let’s go to the bathroom.”

Again, we should clarify that only Frankie was expected to go to the bathroom. Hu-Dad uses the royal “we” when he expects us to behave in certain ways.

Frankie sighed, but accepted that duties must be handled before reward. He trotted back out into the yard and glanced over his shoulder. Seeing Hu-Dad watching, he knew pretending would not work. He would have to be productive. With no other option, he complied.

Sort of.

With a look of concentration, he once again assumed the position, arched his back, and pushed out one more little nugget. A leftover. A residual.

With a satisfied smirk, Frankie returned to the back door. Shaking his head, Hu-Dad extracted another bag from his pocket and walked into the yard. Looks may have been exchanged as they passed at the midpoint.

Frankie thought he’d won, but this particular battle of wills went into a third round. After disposing of the second prize of the morning, Hu-Dad returned to the waiting Frankie Suave. Instead of opening the back door, he addressed our creative canine. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?”

Frankie offered those doughy brown eyes in response. Normally, that got any human to do his bidding. Cute and those brown eyes are Frankie’s weapons of choice.

This time, it didn’t work. Hu-Dad insisted. “Look, Mr. Frank N. Stein, you and I both know what would happen if I relented. You’d go inside, eat your pre-breakfast, and then immediately ask to come back outside.”

A blink of those browns said more than any words, but we’ll interpret for our readers. “Maybe. So what?”

“Let’s make the third time the charm. We need to go pee right now.”

Again, let’s clarify that plural pronoun. Only Frankie was expected to comply.

With a heavy sigh and a somewhat dramatic stomping of the feety-feet, Frankie marched into the yard, affixed Hu-Dad with an icy stare, squatted, and peed.

Upon his return to the door, he ignored Hu-Dad’s query. “Was that so hard?”

Some answers aren’t needed. Besides, pre-breakfast awaited.